And life just got worse. I’ve been surrounded by nuns for the past stretch of my life, yearning for Christian. Cyrano would come and see me every Saturday, thankfully. I really do love him. He’s such a great friend.
But, something happened.
Remember that letter that I posted?
Remember how I used to say how amazingly intelligent and poetic Christian was?
Well, I was wrong.
I was wrong the whole time.
It was always Cyrano.
The WHOLE TIME.
HE wrote to me everyday!
HE was the one who loved me!
And now, after so long, he’s DEAD.
And now, I’ll never be happy. Never. Ever.
I loved twice.
Once for looks.
Another for words.
And both left me for another world.
What to do, what to do.
“Roxane, farewell, since I shall die!…
I think my love that it will be tonight!
My soul still heavy with unspoken love, I pass!
No more, no longer, will my intoxicated eyes, alas,
my glances for which it meant tremulous delight,
be able to kiss the gestures you make, in flight:
and I see, again, that little familiar way
you have of touching your forehead, and wish to say
And say, again:
My dear, my dear one,
My heart has never forgotten you for one second,
and I am, and will be, even in the world beyond,
the one who loves you beyond measure, the one …”
And why is it that I have this memorized, yet I can’t bring myself to type the rest? Christian, I miss you. So, so much.
I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes) | The Used
In Love and Death
I’ll never love again. Ever. He was the only one for me. No one else can ever take his place.
Christian de Neuvillette, I will always love you.
Rest in peace my darling.
Happy Together - The Turtles
So, something happened. There’s this guy, De Guiche, who’s been chasing my tail since, like, forever.
And he wants to marry me.
But guess what?
IT’S TOO LATE, FOOL. SOMEBODY ALREADY PUT A RING ON IT.
Oh, yeah, by the way:
CHRISTIAN AND I GOT MARRIED!
Totally last minute, but it was PERFECT! Cyrano was a sweetheart and distracted The Quiche [ my own personal nickname for him ] until the end of it!
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Hands down. I’m married to the most beautiful, smartest man I know - that the WORLD knows!
The wedding wasn’t big at all - I didn’t even have a fancy dress on! But Christian and I are so happy together!
Isn’t life just so perfect?
And it was really terrible at first. But I’m sure that he was just nervous, of course! He even told me that he was. It was so CUTE! He got so eloquent towards the end, making references to so many different things! I almost couldn’t keep up! Christian’s voice sounds so … familiar. But I guess it’s because I love him so much! My heart just KNOWS the sound of what it wants~
Anyways, guess what happened next.
Well, if you haven’t guessed yet, I’ll just tell you.
HE ASKED ME FOR A KISS.
A KISS, GUYS.
And do you know what I said back?
And then, he started to argue with himself and then he KISSED ME.
Have I told you how attractive he is? Because he’s pretty hot. Seriously. There were butterflies going crazy in my stomach, and it was so perfect! It’s all that I’ve been able to think about!
Cyrano promised that he’d have Christian - the guy I love - write to me everyday!
I’m so stoked! I can’t wait to read his first letter! I wonder if he’ll be good at writing. I hope he is! I’m a sucker for good words. In fact, sometimes I find myself thinking that I’d rather have someone smart and not-so-pretty than stupid and gorgeous …
But I’m sure that I won’t have to worry about that! Christian is just so … so …
I’ll post you my first letter from him when I get it! Until then!
It’s true! Ring the bells and sing a song!
He’s so perfect! I really can’t even start to explain how wonderful and absolutely gorgeous this guy is! He has such lovely eyes, and such a perfect body. I honestly can’t help myself.
He’s just so pretty!
And, right now, I’m going to go visit Cyrano. Maybe see if he can help me out. He’s always been there for me, but I’m still worried to tell him! Well, wish me luck!
(Source: lifecanbeperfect, via mr-thorinton)